- Baltimore Orioles - They're really still in 1st place? In the AL East? - WOW!
- Tampa Bay Rays - They'll be 1-2 in the AL East all season; Joe Maddon is a genius.
- Toronto Blue Jays - I bet you can't name one pitcher yet they've got the 8th best record in baseball.
- New York Yankees - Derek Jeter, are you kidding me? No mo Mo, oh no.
- Boston Red Sox - Beckett and his selfish douche-baggery; mired in last place and I'm loving it.
- Cleveland Indians - A 2-game lead on Detroit 31 after games with Derek Lowe anchoring the staff.
- Detroit Tigers - Meddling near .500 even with a Prince in the lineup.
- Chicago White Sox - Perfecto for Humber; nothing perfect since then (7-11 since).
- Kansas City Royals - NOT the worst team in baseball, thanks to the...
- Minnesota Twins - ...who have the worst pitching staff in baseball.
- Texas Rangers - Tops in average, 4th in ERA; this team is legit.
- Oakland A's - Hitting .216 as a team yet are 16-16; Money Ball!!
- Los Angeles Angels - Oh Albert, where are you? 1 HR and hitting .198; Weaver is a beast.
- Seattle Mariners - 5th best WHIP in baseball; and yes they still have a team.
- Washington Nationals - There's a buzz in DC; only sub-3.00 ERA in baseball.
- Atlanta Braves - Craig Kimbrel may be the most underrated closer in baseball (10 saves)
- New York Mets - They're in 3rd place with R.A. Dickey as an ace; 8,000 games and still no no-hitter.
- Miami Marlins - Hanley is a beast; Reyes not so much; Heath Bell blows (10.24 ERA, 0-3, 3 SV).
- Philadelphia Phillies - It's about time they've got to earn they division crown; offense is offensive.
- St. Louis Cardinals - Looking like a repeat might be in the - dare I say it - cards!; Beltran resurrection.
- Cincinnati Reds - Jay Bruce for Mayor of Cincinnati (.297/10 HR/23 RBI/19 R); Cueto - Cy Young?
- Houston Astros - Chris Johnson is a future star; and Bud Norris is OK, but nothing like Chuck.
- Pittsburgh Pirates - All-or-Nothing Alvarez (7 HR, 15 RBI, 30 K); and they pitch (3.37 ERA).
- Chicago Cubs - Bryan LaHair Show (.384/8 HR); Dempster pitching to a 1.02 ERA; still in 5th place.
- Milwaukee Brewers - You think they miss Prince? Braun .313-Hart .231-Ramirez .219; Anemic.
- Los Angeles Dodgers - Matt Kemp is a BEAST!; Capuano, Kershaw, Lilly a pretty good top three.
- San Francisco Giants - Kung Fu Panda out for a little; The Freak will figure it out; Bochy is a boss!
- Arizona Diamondbacks - The pitching has gone dry in the desert (4.21 ERA); Gerardo Parra is exciting.
- Colorado Rockies - They've lost 5 of 6 starts by Moyer yet his ERA is the best (4.01); CarGo is starting to pick it up (.312/7 HR/26 RBI/25 R/5 SB).
- San Diego Padres - Edinson Volquez pitches for the Padres?; Jeff Suppan hitting .333; 12 HR's as a team, AS A TEAM!
Goodnight!
